Book Review: Book of Boundaries

The Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book is for you if you need assistance navigating pushback, peer pressure, and the minimization of your needs. The key is to establish boundaries—clear limits you set to protect your energy, time, and health—which leads to increased confidence, security, and more fulfilling connections with others.

Author Melissa Urban organizes the book by relationship categories, such as parents and in-laws, friends and neighbors, and bosses and romantic partners. The framework helps you identify where a boundary is needed, how to communicate your limit effectively, and thereby strengthen all your relationships.

There are three parts to this book, Part One: Boundary Beginnings, what are boundaries and how to use this book; Part Two: Your Boundary Practice, handling all sorts of situations by setting boundaries; and Part Three: Boundary Benefits, how to hold your own and everyone else’s benefits while reaping the magic it brings.

Once you determine what boundary you need to set, there are scripts you can practice and use. They are arranged into a color-coded system of green, yellow, and red, based on the level of threat and the corresponding response required. This approachable and practical book comes across as direct yet compassionate. I recommend this book to anyone who is looking for healthier, freer, and more rewarding relationships.

The book is user-friendly and written straightforwardly. There are over 130 scripts that you can use to establish boundaries with parents, in-laws, bosses, co-workers, romantic partners, co-parents, friends, family, neighbors, strangers, and yourself.

The author provides many examples, including her journey. I appreciate that she covers not only how to set boundaries but also how you should react when others set boundaries with you.

The book covers many situations that may or may not apply to the reader. Maybe you don’t have a boss or don’t co-parent with anyone; regardless, the scenarios, tips, and scripts are very interesting, and at some point, who knows—they may be applicable.

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